Smoke and Mirrors
by Snowballimus
Summary: It’s easy to get frustrated when you walk and walk and walk with no direction and all you get is the same thing you had before. Nothing but darkness for infinity and no one but the ghosts of your guilt for company.


AN: This came out of absolutely nowhere today, but I am extremely proud of it. I'm not a very good judge so I apologize if there are any strange tense changes. This takes place as Riku is wandering through the darkness after being shut into Kingdom Hearts. SoRiKai if you squint.

Disclaimer: Kingdom Hearts and all it's characters belong to Square Enix and Disney, I'm just borrowing them for a moment.

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Smoke and Mirrors

Smiles and sea breeze and sun on the water. The cawing of gulls and the splash of the waves. The feel of dried sheets and the smell of cold ice cream. The crack of a jump rope and the slapkickthrow of a ball and the hollow of wood. Things he missed and things that he never thought were very important before.

He ached in places he didn't think could ache. He ached for his mother and her laughter and he warmth. He ached for her in the cold dark night. He ached for eternity. He ached for an infinitesimal second of time. He ached for her backwards and forwards and sideways and no ways and inside and outside and any side. He ached for her to hold him in the same exact way he used to think was for children. He ached for her to tell him he could be forgiven.

Forgiveness. A desire within him strong enough to match the desire to leave the darkness. He burned with it. The encompassing, fiery womb of desire to find a road to light. Sometimes he wondered if he would make it or if he was even moving at all. The darkness played tricks. He couldn't see but he could hear. Oh could he _hear_. The sounds of claws and of antennae and of smoke and of mirrors because that's all the heartless were when in their own domain. Their claws would scratch sometimes from afar and sometimes so close to his ear and his hair would raise and goose bumps would run up his arms and a shiver would run down his spine. He would spin around at times like these, the Soul Eater heavy in his hands, and all there would be is darkness to greet him.

It's easy to get frustrated when you walk and walk and walk with no direction and all you get is the same thing you had before. Nothing but darkness for infinity and no one but the ghosts of your guilt for company. He _was _frustrated. Probably more than he had been in his entire life. Stronger men or weaker men could have quit and given themselves to darkness, but he was neither, a class all his own, and so for that he hoped it would save his life. At times he may flirt with the brink of giving up and maybe even insanity but he would be dammed if his heart would belong to anyone but him.

Time was irrelevant. He no longer knew seconds from minutes from days from months from years. Everything stretched into nothing that really mattered. He had no food and instead fed off his desire to escape and of his own memories. Happy, peaceful memories that he had taken for granted. People, places, feelings, sounds, tastes, romantic Selphie, friendly Wakka, happy Tidus and everything that was beautiful and home and safe and the shining sun and the curved Paopu tree and all he wanted was his mother and—_nomore! pleasenomore! iwanttogohome… !_—He was curled upon himself—_sora… kairi_—And the sound of claws came, louder and more than before_--…imissyou_—angry claws and excited claws and hungry claws and smoke and mirrors became solid and real_--…imsosorry…--_ And he couldn't give up! He couldn't!

Sora was waiting. Kind, smiley Sora who always knew when he was upset even an island away. Sora was freedom and wind and blue, blue eyes, and untamed and the hero he wished he was and could never be. Sora was so much more than a friend. He was rival, brother, soul mate, and one third of his entire being.

For this he couldn't give up. For this he would drive smoke and mirrors back until they disappeared forever and until he could see light again.

Sweet, sweet, beautiful, warm, and pure light which was soul-searing Kairi to a tee. Kairi was enchanting and lovingly and saw through all his masks and could make everything okay again with just a smile. To be with Kairi was like drowning as tenderly as possible and he didn't blame her for pulling away before he opened the door and destroyed everything. Kairi was magic and so much more than a friend. She was princess, sister, soul mate, and one third of his entire being.

For this he would_ nevernevernever_ give up. For Sora and Kairi and everything he had to make up for he would continue on.

And he heard the heartless draw back and he heard claws become less and less and for the first time in so very, very long he heard a voice that was not his own…

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AN2: And so starts Reverse/Rebirth. Thanks for reading! =]


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